Of Sponges and Starting Over


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I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately.

I’m feeling like more of a hermit than normal, like it’s not worth it to leave the house for just about any reason. I love home, and when I think about trips I’d been planning for later in the year it just makes me tired. I’d rather be with my loved ones.

I’m going through a sponge stage. I am not shaped like a duck.

I’ve been rather stalled out creatively since the book came out, which I’ve written about before. It’s getting better, slowly, and I’m glad of that.

I was talking with my publisher about the next book, and they weren’t in love with my idea. So I’m rethinking, and trying things out, and waiting.

I feel like everything is at a pause moment right now.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything happening.

In fact, I feel busier than I have in a long time. It’s just a different kind of activity.

First, I’m reading like mad. I devoured Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones over the weekend. I hadn’t reread it in years, and it reminded me that even though my writing isn’t poetry or fiction, that doesn’t mean I can’t — or shouldn’t — work at improving it. I admire her work so much. She’s got a new book I really need to get my hands on.

I’ve gone back to my notebook. I’ve written 22 pages longhand in the past five days. Two of those are an article for another website, but the rest is strategy. Pep talks. Ideas. Coaching myself back to what I know I need to be doing. Reminding myself that I always have a choice, more so than a lot of people, in what I’m doing, what I accept. And that I probably need to be more strategic about that. As soon as I figure out exactly what it is I want.

I want to read all the things, knit all the things, learn all the things.

I feel this ball of potential energy in my chest waiting to be unleashed.

gentle making
A little making I have been doing lately. More on that tomorrow.

But first, I must absorb. Think. Listen. Rethink.

It’s kind of exciting.

I was listening to a teleconference with Alli Worthington the other day, and she said something about being in a rut meaning that changes are coming.

So I’m embracing the rut, soaking up all I can and getting ready for whatever it is that’s next for me.

Thanks for joining me on the adventure.

What books, movies, websites, etc. really inspire you? I’d love to add to my read/watch/listen list!

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  1. I have that Natalie Goldberg book, the new one, and Sarah, seriously, if you ever want to sign up to go to one of her workshops at the Mabel Dodge place in New Mexico I will scrape every dime I have together to make that happen. I read her 20+ years ago and keep going back to her time and again. And… I am pretty gosh darn excited about Alli too. 2 good things in one blog MUST mean good things are in store for you, my dear.

  2. Ooh, wouldn’t that be awesome? I’d love to go on a retreat with you. I’m eagerly awaiting the next good thing, and working to make it happen, of course.

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